Nothing can separate....

Nothing can separate me from God's love.
Nothing.
Not trouble.
Not hardship.
Not persecution.
Not a famine.
Not nakedness.
Not danger.
Not a sword.

Nothing.

Not death.
Not life.
Not angels.
Not demons.
Not the present.
Not the future.
Not any power.
Not height.
Not even depth.
Not anything else in the entire created world.

Nothing.
Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ.

Not a language.
Not an ocean.
Nothing.
Not a time difference.
Not a cultural difference.
Nothing.

His love knows no limits.
As He has known no beginning and no end....so is His love.
Steadfast.
Eternal.
Unchanging.

Every second in every minute of every hour in each day---His love to me is constant.

And nothing- nothing- will ever separate me from His love.

"Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol Him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord." --Psalm 117

You didn't say that it would be easy...
You never promised a perfect path, free of hurt, free of difficulty, free of conflict.
You promised a Light.
You promised a Presence.
You promised a Helper.

You didn't call me to ease and to comfort...
You never called me to sit back and relax, or to know the latest trends and fashions.
You called me to take up my cross.
You called me to suffer with You.
You called me to die to myself.

So here I am, Lord.
Hard-pressed, but not crushed.
Perplexed, but not in despair.
Persecuted, but not abandoned.
Struck down, but not destroyed.

Here I am, Lord.
Ready to start a new day.
It might hold more...
More things that make me feel worthless...
More situations that make me feel crushed...
But I will not lose heart.
For these things draw me to You.

You, who by Your grace define my worth.
You, who in Your love restore my brokenness.
You, who take the least, the frail, the feeble, and the weak,
and make them strong.

So here I am, Lord.
I am nothing...
But I am Yours.

Little by little, inch by inch...

So I just have to say... today was my best Portuguese day ever.
Let me clarify. When you read what little actually occurred...you will realize how far I have to go. Nonetheless, today was HUGE for me.
That being said, let me explain.

Laura and I decided that we both want to learn how to cook. So, we've been taking turns cooking meals. We usually sit down, plan out the meals for the week, and then make our grocery list.

Well, my goal is to make one new recipe each week. This week, I decided to make French dip sandwiches. I made my list, looked at the things I needed but had never seen or didn't know where to find at the grocery store...and then I emailed some missionaries to help me know what words to look for in the meat section. I jotted the words down on my list and headed to the store.

I saved finding the meat for the end. I hate the meat section. First of all, I really am not much of a meat person...especially when I see it before it's been cooked. Secondly, the meat section here is just very different than at home. I have never walked through the meat section at Walmart and seen former pets staring back at me...I'll just put it that way. Thirdly, there is the distinct, overwhelming smell of dried cod that, while barely tolerable throughout the store, is ten times stronger near the meat. The first time I walked past it I began dry-heaving. It's that strong. I have now reached the point where I no longer have to hold my sleeve to my nose. I think now I just walk past with a pained expression upon my face. My goal is to one day look happy to be purchasing meat near the hanging slabs of cod. We'll see if it ever happens.

As I braced myself to enter into the dreaded meat section, I began to scan the labels to find a beef roast. When I finally found the meat I needed...I realized there were two kinds that had the words I was looking for. They both looked VERY different. While I probably could have just grabbed one and made it work, a deep part of me was terrified that it might be meat from a previously mentioned pet...or just an animal that I would rather not try...so I started to look for someone to help me.

Just that moment a lady walked by with a large crate of meat to restock the refrigerators. She saw me standing there staring at her inquisitively and came over to help me. I started with my standard apology for not knowing more Portuguese and then asked her in Portuguese, "Is this beef?"

To which she replied, "lskjdfoeiiwjaofjeowiejowijf" (didn't catch a word of it)

I decided to try another approach. "Is this from the same animal?"

Bingo.

She explained that they were both from the same animal, but the reason they looked different is that one was "cleaner" and "purer."

It's stupid, really. But being able to actually form a question and understand the response was WONDERFUL!

Then, later this evening Laura and I were wanting to purchase coffee but could only find the beans. We don't have a grinder, but I remembered that usually they can grind the beans for you. I remembered the words "you can" and "make" from a song we sing in church, the word for ground, and slammed them altogether in a probably horrendously constructed sentence---but the lady understood.
It's such a thimble full compared to the vast ocean of what I need to know...but the thimble full felt quite satisfying today. :)

"But at seven and twenty, she thought very differently from what she had been persuaded to think earlier..."

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately...
Thinking about the past decade or so of my life...the decisions I've made...the direction that my life has taken...
Reflection can be a painful thing. There are parts of my life that I wonder if could have turned out differently if I wouldn't have been quite so hard-hearted at the time... or so incredibly afraid of being vulnerable...or just so scared of taking a risk.
I know, of course, that God has a plan for my life...every part of it. I know that those things have pushed me to be who He wants me to be. They have broken my heart so that God could reshape and refashion it for Him...
But sometimes I wonder.
I wonder if my history will make sense in my future.
I wonder how God is going to work out a million desires that tug on my heart.
I know I have watched Him do it before, and I know I will watch Him do it again.
But right now...I'm wondering.

God knows where I've been, where I am, and where I will be.
He knows who I was, who I am, and who I will be.
He knows...
I know in part...He knows in full. He sees my beginning and my end, and He knows every detail of the story in between.
So I'm praying for eyes that don't see the circumstances that confuse...
and for a heart that won't hear the questions that bemuse...
Instead I'm fixing my gaze on the Author of my Life
and setting my heart upon the Lover of my Soul.

Somehow He knows how the puzzle that is my heart fits together...

Cultural Adjustment #182 :)

I think I'm losing the inner Midwesterner in me. :)
For the longest time, I would smile at everyone I walked past, everyone that entered the cafe, and everyone that I came into contact with. This is something my friends have said I do way too much, even in the States. I just want to be friendly, you know? I just want to show people there is something different about me.
After about a week of odd looks, unsolicited (in my opinion) stares/attention, I started to notice that perhaps my "friendliness" wasn't exactly sending out the right message...if you know what I mean.
So I'm trying really hard to be "citified." :)
I give blank stares back to random strangers and try really hard not to acknowledge anyone and everyone by smiling at them, unless, of course, I have a reason to interact with them (salesman/woman, checker, etc.).
My thoughts on this were confirmed when a (Portuguese) friend of mine traveled to a small town in North America. I asked her what she thought. She said as she walked into stores she kept thinking that the friend she was visiting knew everyone. She would smile at them, they would ask her how her day was, if she needed help. Finally, she turned to her friend and said, "How do you know all these people?"
Her friend replied, "I don't."
"Then why are they talking to you and acting like they know you?"
I loved that. Seeing her bewildered response to what is so familiar to me....as I was trying to adjust to what was so familiar to her.
I'm sure not everyone experiences this. I just happen to come from Iowa...quite possibly the friendliest place on the earth. :)

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

My mind has been constantly trying to come to an understanding of the different events that occurred this past week.
This last week was just one of those terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad- weeks...at least from a human perspective. Not one thing in particular...just an awful combination of so many things...
Yet in the culmination of such frustrating events, I recognize the hand of God.
I know that when I encounter circumstances that are beyond my control, I am forced to acknowledge that I cannot control anything.
I know that when people hurt or frustrate me, I am forced analyze why I'm bothered...and then I remember that there is only one person that should be sitting on the throne in my heart...and it can't be me.
Lastly, I know that in circumstances that were so delicately crafted to quite possibly discourage or defeat, my foundation is strong.
Yeah...it's been one of those weeks.
One of those weeks where God reminds me:
He's the Potter...I'm the clay.
He's the Vine...I'm the branch.
He's Alpha and Omega...I'm a vapor.
He's Faithful and True...I'm...well...I'm Gomer.

I was teaching today about the life of Joseph. I used an illustration I had heard in a poem about a tapestry. I explained that Joseph didn't know how all the events in his life fit together. He didn't see the grand picture. He didn't know when he was sitting in a prison falsely accused that in a few years he would once again be second in command. God looks at the events in our lives and sees a a beautiful picture. We see the underside of a tapestry...strings out of place...sometimes a knotted mess. One day, we'll see the full picture. But for right now, we just see bits and pieces. As I got the words out, I realized that perhaps I was the one that needed to hear that the most.
So I dug out the poem(ok, I really just googled it)...great reminder.

The Weaver

My life is but a weaving, between my God and me.
I do not choose the colors, he worketh steadily.
Oft' times he weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.

Not till the looms are silent, and the shuttles cease to fly.
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reasons why,
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand,
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

Author Unknown

I can only imagine...

I wonder what it's like...those first few moments. I wonder what it feels like to recognize someone you've lived your life for...Having never seen, heard, or touched Him...what is it like? I wonder if you fall...if you embrace...or if you simply stare, eyes wide and jaw dropped. I wonder if it's different for every person. I wonder.
Is it just you and Him? Or is there a whole crowd cheering your final, long awaited entrance? What's it like to know that your real life is just beginning?
I wonder what it's like...

This morning, one of my heroes died. But if I'm being completely honest, he died to himself years ago...today it just became official.
He was always a picture to me of what it meant to be consumed with Christ. I'll admit that when I was younger, I was always worried he'd ask me a question from the Bible that I couldn't answer. When I was a teenager, I was worried that he would say something that would convict me. But the deeper that I have fallen in love with my Savior, the more I found I had in common with this man. The more I appreciated watching him with others...the more I admired his blatant evangelism with anyone and everyone...the more I longed for his ability to guide conversations to spiritual things. He didn't live for himself. I knew that if I spoke with him...our conversation would be centered on Christ. That intimidated me for a while. But the older I grew...the more I appreciated that. Often times when I was at his granddaughter's house, I would wind up listening to Him or conversing with Him about Christianity...about the Cross...or just about Christ.
I've been thinking a lot about a conversation I had with him before I left for Portugal. I remember sitting there looking up at him passionately telling me one of his favorite missionary stories. I realized that the next time I'd see him would most likely be in heaven. As I opened my mouth to ask him a question, he began to share with me the most important piece of advice he could have given me. It isn't profound...it isn't ground-breaking or earth-shattering...but it's exactly what I needed to hear.
"Erin," he said, "the most important thing I've done in my Christian life is to sit down, every single night, refusing to go to bed until I know I'm right with the Lord. Make sure you keep your account with Him current. Think through your day. Confess anything that you know you've done, and ask the Lord to show you the things you've forgotten....'cause if you don't...you're useless and ineffective...and Satan has you where he wants you. Then it might be weeks before you confess your sins and restore your relationship with him. Stay current."
As I drove home that evening, I began to think through the times when I know I strayed from the Lord. It was just like he had said...a small fade...a little thing unconfessed that diminished my desire to be in the Word...and the rest, well, it's history. It's such a simple thing, really. But it's so important! I'm not sure why I'd never thought that through before...but I'm so thankful God divinely arranged that conversation. It's one I've thought of so many times since...
I'm grateful for people who have rooted me on in my walk with Christ. I'm grateful for the godly examples that he gave me on this earth to challenge, inspire, and encourage me. I'm thankful for the testimony of someone who decided he wasn't going to live for himself...but rather for Him who had died for him.
I wonder what his first day was like...
Somehow, I can just hear him in the midst of the "great cloud of witnesses"...I can hear him whisper, "You have no idea...just wait, it's worth it. Keep living in purity in the midst of immorality...because it's worth it. Keep your eyes fixed on the prize...even when the world tells you to give up...because it's worth it. Continue to trust in the One you can't see...because I've seen Him....and He's worth it. Keep on... Press on...believe me, you won't be disappointed."