The Listener...

I feel like that describes my personality here. At least, for now.
I really can carry on a conversation. And I do like to talk. I have opinions. I read and watch the news... But somehow here, my ability to contribute to any conversation, whether it's in English or Portuguese, has been stripped...and all I can do is listen.

I have days where I just feel like I can't go hang out with people, because I'm just exhausted...from listening. Ridiculous, right?

Yeah...I don't get it.

Today I spent seven hours listening. I could probably count on my hands the number of times I spoke or attempted to speak. As I sat at my table at the church fellowship I watched our table joke and kid around with each other, laugh, and plan activities. And there I was, the pink bump on a log (for clarification, I was wearing pink...lots of pink) who couldn't even understand enough to laugh at the jokes and was oblivious to the plans that were being made.

That's when I realized how incredible heaven really will be. I'll be able to sit at the table with all of them when we get to heaven...and I'm going to understand EVERYTHING. There won't be entire sentences that are lost in translation...or communication struggles.

The beauty of the universal church is astounding. Too think that God is not bound by a five letter acronym (enough said or I'm going to get myself in trouble...) is wonderful. He isn't restricted to call people who will worship like me. He has followers all over the earth. And if I am going to be even the least bit honest...quite frankly, some of them do and say things that would blow your American mentality of "spirituality." And while that has been a tremendous thing for me to process and discover ...right now, being part of the church in another part of the world has also been frustrating.

That's where the beauty of heaven is taking on a new meaning. It means these two worlds that I am coming to love will be joined together. It means no barriers. No pointless differences. No separations. No more goodbyes. No wishing I was there while I'm here...or here while I'm there. But what really makes my heart rejoice more than anything else is just knowing I'll comprehend every single word that's going to be said there. Hebrew, Greek, Aramaic, Italian, Swahili, Spanish, Latin, and yes, Portuguese. :) Now THAT...that's what I can't wait for...

Steven Curtis Chapman penned an entire song about how after experiencing the death of his beautiful daughter, heaven has become to him the face of his little girl. I think that's part of the amazing thing about heaven. It holds in it the answers to all our ache, our hurt, our frustration, our grief. Cancer? Doesn't exist in heaven. Economic crisis? Not in heaven. Singleness? Won't matter in heaven. Can't hold a conversation, understand a conversation, or even begin to start a conversation in Portuguese? No worries...heaven awaits.

Until then...or until I can learn more...I guess I'll be listening. :)