Breakdown....

It's spring break here in Portugal.
Breaks are just not good for me. I always think I want them, but as soon as they come, they carry with them more emotions than I'm prepared to deal with.

Christmas break was understandable to me. It was the holidays... you're supposed to miss your family, right? And miss them I did. But then school started again, life resumed its busy schedule, and my emotions returned to their usual state.

But before I realized it...spring break arrived, and we had finished school. And before the school day ended...I had already cried five times. Not kidding.
I think it's during break time, when I have the opportunity to choose how I want to spend my time, that I realize...it's impossible to do what I really want to do during my break time. Every spring break since graduating from college, I've spent that week with my closest friends...doing absolutely nothing together...and loving every minute of it. We'd hop in a car, drive to a cabin, and hibernate. We'd spend hours in the car together, laughing till we cried, singing as loud as we possibly could, playing car jeopardy, and wandering aimlessly through small towns. We never had to ask each other what we wanted to do...we all just genuinely enjoyed the same things. It was fun. It was easy. It was relaxing. And it was a blast.

I miss my friends so much this week. I miss friendships with history...
I wish I could just transport myself home...or them here. Just for a day or two. Or three...or four...
Or maybe just the whole break. :)
Nevertheless...life goes on. But it's just not quite as rich, you know?